Found this in my archives.

I had a group of friends over for brunch a while ago. One of the friends had agreed to being interviewed, so I took the opportunity to ask him questions between crepes and mimosas.

Name: Super-D.
Age: 24
Occupation: Fashion Vigilante
Hometown: Rochester, MN

[J] If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
[D] The noble sea horse.

[J] If I look inside your refrigerator, what would I find?
[D] Coca cola, beer, and gatorade. Before, during and after.

[J] You have moved around a bit, where do you identify with the most?
[D] Portland, the golden standard of Awesome.

[J] What do your parents do for a living?
[D] Mother is a reverend and professional badass, and my father got his minor in badassery and is an MD in his spare time.

[J] If you had a million dollars, what would you do?
[D] Go back to Germany, then become a professional foosballer.

[J] Do you have any hobbies?
[D] Well, I cross stitch. I also like to cook.

[J] Can you think of anything quirky about yourself?
[D] Yes.
[J] Care to elaborate?
[D] No.
(editors note: after thinking about it, D decided that one of his quirks is that he is rampantly paranoid.)

[J] What is your earliest memory?
[D] Not sure. I get hit in the head a lot.

[J] What cartoon character do you identify with the most?
[D] Wile E. Coyote, Archer, and Bender.

[J] You say a lot of really funny things. What is the best quote you have ever produced?
[D] Well, last night I had a good one: “Fuck you and your four-in-hand. Symmetrical or GTFO.” But all-time, probably: “Morning sex has the disadvantage of not pissing off my neighbors, which is, let’s be honest, at least 20% of the reason I have sex.”

[J] Who inspires you?
[D] My annoyingly talented friends. And my brother too, what a prick.

[J] What is your drink of choice?
[D] (Mimosa in hand) Sunday is brunch day, mimosa is brunch. I also really like burbon.

[J] If you were stranded on a desert island, what three items would you take with you?
[D] A luxury penthouse yacht, an endless bar, and bikini-clad women.
[J] I don’t think that is allowed.
[D] Don’t care.

Additional fun quotes from our morning brunch:

“It is better ride the walrus. When I sober up it is best not to be in public. The hangover isn’t pretty.”

“I’m not the fashion police, I’m a fashion vigilante”

“I’m beautiful, but you are obviously blind”

“All of my favorite things in one place [drinking and cooking] … all I need is a stripper pole.”